About Whatever 
No Comments The sunset of summer
It’s been weeks since my last post. August just flew by since I was gone for most of it – first for the cruise and 2nd for the trip to Disneyland for Michaela’s birthday. In between all that, I was just too busy wrapping up projects and finalizing travel plans to post. I finally had closure (or so I thought) when my home sold early last month and we closed just the day before leaving for Seattle. Since then, I have returned to reality to find notices from a new bank who has taken over my loan and after repeated phone calls have learned that not only do they consider my loan still active, there is no sign of the money that was sent to them to settle the debt – $193,000… GONE. It’s been a moment of panic all day. I am emotionally exhausted. I was so relieved for the burden to be lifted that to have it thrust back onto my shoulders is almost more than I can bare. Luckily though, the law is on my side. I have paperwork to support the deal and if needs be, I’ll seek litigation to set things right. I don’t want to do that though. It just seems like I can’t shake this house from my grasp. I don’t want it any more. Let me move on, I say!!So the update is this…the cruise was OKAY. I enjoyed the time away. I am not sure if that particular cruise or cruise line is for me. I didn’t get to see much of Alaska and that was disappointing. Our one and only shore excursion was canceled due to weather. And since it was too cold to swim (and it’s really not my thing anyway) and I wasn’t about to waste my money gambling, I spent a lot of time just sitting around. It’s not what I expected. Sure there was Bingo to play but at $36 for four games, that got old fast. The napkin folding class was silly but a fun diversion. I don’t drink so I couldn’t get drunk and waste the time away. I guess I am just used to doing something or going somewhere when I vacation. Being stuck on a boat is just not what I envisioned. But there is no comparison. So I guess I will have to “suffer” and try a cruise again…maybe next time it will be someplace warmer. 
Next up was Disneyland – always a favorite destination!! Compared to last year, we’ve gone Disney-lite this year. It’s been a while since we were in the Happiest Place on Earth (since Feb/March. Oooh! Long time, I know). But we had a grand time despite the hot weather. It was miserably hot and it made it difficult to stay in the park into the afternoon. Our last day was mired by a chance encounter with a niece I hadn’t seen in over 15 years. It was awkward and uncomfortable and it was obvious that her disdain for us was abundant which is strange since she hadn’t seen any of us since she was 3. In fact the last time I saw her, I could honestly say that she thought I was the cat’s meow. I was her favorite aunt and she loved coming to visit. Amazing how time and fiction can cloud one’s judgement and how easily a person can form an opinion about another based on nothing. Maybe some day she’ll open her heart and mind to learn of the truth but until then, I will not wait around. I wish her well. I hope she finds happiness whatever that is. And should she ever want to know her family truthfully, I’ll be there. But until then, I won’t waste my time. What a painful way to live…So it seems that bitterness follows and is the last I taste as I bid adieu to summer. I complain as usual and wallow in self-pity yet again because I have a house that won’t go away and a couple nieces who hate me for absolutely no reason. It’s difficult to be optimistic with news such as this. But…. persevere, I will, as I always do. I welcome the new school year as an opportunity for my dear daughter to continue to learn and grow. She seems so much older now. It’s unbelievable how much she’s grown. Perhaps as the school year gets into full swing there will be more time to write and more positive things to report on. Until then….
