My Name is Kris and I Blah-g

It is customary to recognize one’s blessings on this day each year. I find myself also giving pause to reflect on what I am thankful for. There is much. However, I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge that today is also a difficult day. For obvious reasons, I am somewhat numb today. I do not want to dwell on what or who is not apart of today’s festivities. But I cannot help but think of Mike and how much he loved Thanksgiving and how much he wished we could one day return to his home and celebrate it with his family. This was one thing we as a couple never got to do. It saddens me that it never came to be. Today is also the 2nd anniversary of Mike’s mother passing away. Little did I know at the time but today marked a countdown of sorts for our family because it is sort of what put the ball in motion for the events that would transpire for us a little over a month later. Yes there were other contributing factors that led us to that point but it really was her passing that effected Mike so much. I mourn today with his family who I am sure are missing her terribly. I miss her too. She was always a calming presence and voice of reason – perhaps the only person who could ever really talk to Mike and help him see the forest for the trees. I am sad they are both gone but grateful that both are together today. I am grateful that she didn’t enter Heaven alone for her parents and other loved ones were there to greet her. I am grateful that she was waiting at Heaven’s gate for Mike when he arrived.And for those of us still here… I am thankful that I had the honor of being apart of their lives. I am eternally grateful to have been given stewardship of the best part of Mike – his daughter. He is always here with me when I look at her. Each day is a blessing when I am with her. She is a happy little girl. There is so much light in her eyes and faith in her heart. Even now I can hear her in the other room singing out loud. I strive to be more like her.I am thankful for my family and friends who support me and put up with my rantings about the unfairness of it all. Their patience hasn’t gone unnoticed.I am thankful for opportunities to serve others and for the blessing of working at home to be near my mother. I am grateful for her trust in me.I am thankful for the sustenance of being able to take care of things financially despite job loss and minimal income. I am thankful that my husband prepared ahead of time so that should he not be here, his daughter would be provided for. I am thankful she is able to attend a wonderful school and there plans in place to give her a head start when she is grown.I am thankful for the unconditional love of my dogs and cat. I can curse, scream and freak out but they are always there with a warm nudge and a thoughtful look that tells me they love me.I am thankful for my car. I know that’s shallow and superficial but I love it. So thank you to the Mickey Mobile.I am thankful for the quiet escapes that I can make with my daughter to Disneyland. I am thankful to Southwest for providing a way for us to do this on the spur of the moment and at such minimal cost.I am thankful for those fleeting moments when in the solitude of my thoughts of my husband, I can feel the warmth his arms surround me.I am thankful….just….THANKFUL.