My Name is Kris and I Blah-g

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There is really not a lot to say about today… it’s been 4 years. In some ways I am in awe that so much time has passed and in other times, like now when I look at that picture of Mike above, I have to remind myself of the things that are starting to slip from my memory – the size of his hands, the blue in his eyes, the way he’d smile when he looked at me. If it’s fading for me, how must it be for Michaela? Last night we were looking through old pictures. Some of them weren’t THAT old. I mean, yeah, her 2nd birthday I don’t expect her to remember that but her pre-school graduation? I kinda thought she’d remember it well. It was one of the last major milestones she had before we lost her Dad. She couldn’t remember a thing. So, I am seeing one of my fears come to fruition – the memories of her father are fading. Thank goodness I took so many pictures and that we had so many things that we did together as a family. We will need to look at the photos often and speak of the memories just so they can stay alive within her. I’ve lost my husband, yes. But I will always have those memories and that gives me comfort… most of the time. But what will comfort Michaela when she gets her driver’s license, goes on her first date, gets married, has her first child and her father isn’t there to share in those moments?

I guess it’ll be me. No pressure…

Golly… I sure miss ya, Mike. I think I’m gonna need a little help down here… Just sayin’…