My Name is Kris and I Blah-g

The scouts came over last night to drop off some Valentines Cookies. I have been pretty proud of myself for resisting most sugar for the past 3 weeks. I have decided that depleting it completely from the diet is near close to impossible but I have cut out juices and other things that have added sugar and that part hasn’t been too bad. With the exception of pig out Super Bowl Sunday, I have been a healthy eating girl. But then the sugar cookies arrived.They were big. They were soft. They were swimming in pink frosting and red heart candies. They were begging to be eaten. And after all, the cute lil’ scouts worked so hard on them. I declared it a cheat night and went for a cookie. Oh. My. Gosh. I think in a matter of about 2 minutes, I gained back all 16 pounds I had lost in the past 2 and half weeks. The cookie was sweet. VERY sweet. And I can honestly say that I have no desire for another one.Guilt…. it’s a powerful diet tool.

I have to admit. Dieting sucks. Counting carbs sucks! Who was the jerk who thought of that!? I understand why Garfield always said “diet” is “DIE” with a “T”. There are times you feel like you’re dying. Not because I couldn’t have sweets but just because there are times when I find myself so hungry! But what I have learned is that I am not supposed to be hungry. If I get hungry, then it’s working. And when I get hungry I need to feed myself. I find that concept a little hard to accept still but I am trying. I am proud of myself because the other night I got the case of the munchies. I went downstairs and stared into the fridge waiting for something to pop out at me and say EAT ME! But the guilt was just too much. I shouldn’t be eating at this time of night but I was HUNGRY!! So I grabbed some apples and luckily that staved off the hunger. Yeah, I shouldn’t be eating that late at night and it probably shouldn’t have been something as sweet as an apple but hey, I didn’t grab the ice cream or the Zingers that were sitting on the counter. I think I am doing pretty darn good…So good in fact that this morning I discovered that I was 15 pounds down since I started this thing a month ago. FIFTEEN POUNDS!! Holy mackrel! I can’t believe it. Naturally I will weigh in again to make sure this isn’t a fluke. In my disbelief, I jumped on the scale a bit. I tried to weigh myself down and the needle didn’t budge. Well, what do ya know about that? Lowering your daily caloric intake and getting off your butt for a wee bit of exercise works! Who knew?! I still have a long way to go. But I am encouraged by the results so far. I know that at some point the weight loss will slow down. I can’t expect to lose 15 pounds every month although wouldn’t that be something? I look forward to when the loss amounts into major inches lost and my pants won’t stay up. Oh, how I long for that day. I have been walking at the mall every morning – 2 miles (yeah, I count it). And I walk by all these clothes stores and covet the tiny pairs of jeans that hang in their windows. Perhaps one day I will get to shop in a store that isn’t meant for fat girls and buy a normal size. But for now, my goal is to at least reach the lowest size available in the fat girl’s store. If I can reach that, I will be a happy camper!

So, I have been trying to lose weight. It hasn’t been easy. Since I last blogged a staggering 18 days ago, I don’t think I have lost a single thing…other than my sanity and my ability to hold my water. To be fair, however I don’t believe I have tried in earnest until about 4 days ago. Yes, I was starting off slow in the beginning… a protein shake here, another there, carrots for lunch…that sort of thing. But let’s get real, how long would THAT last? Not long considering that we still had mounds of Christmas goodies left on our counters and mom’s birthday and a trip to Disneyland have occurred since then. So, I put those events behind me and this past Wednesday, with my sister as my diet buddy, we have been going full steam ahead on the diet.I think the most frustrating part has been the cutting out of sugar. I have dramatically reduced the sugar. I even tried that in California when I was there. I didn’t have anything with added sugar but have since discovered there are dietary sugars in every stinking thing you eat. I have stayed away from cakes, juices, candy and my beloved ice cream. I’ve been living mostly on a diet of fruits, vegetables and lean meats like chicken. I think I could find a way to make this a permanent thing but I’m going to have to figure out new and exciting ways to fix some of these same food items. And despite all of this I have to satisfy my sweet tooth. To do this I rely heavily on fruit. Still…. I see the numbers of the dietary sugar (whatever that is) remain high. How can that be?!! It’s so frustrating!In the past 4 days I have made it a goal to keep my caloric intake between 1200 and 1800 calories, drink at least 64 ounces of water a day and walk for at least 45 minutes to an hour and do so at a quick pace of at least 3.5mph. I have done well. I have absolutely kept the caloric intake low. I’ve surpassed the water thing by drinking at least 85 oz/day and have walked each day. It’s been a long four days… The only change I have seen has been a huge increase in my trips to the bathroom. I must pee every two hours and some times I have to go every 30 minutes. I’m drinking a ton of water. It’s nuts! I can see why some people give up but I hope this is a habit I can get into and for now I am curious as to what it will do to me. So, I am hereby making myself a science experiment – call it the great pee till you’re skinny diet… gross.