My Name is Kris and I Blah-g

I’ve returned from Disney World, a sewer sea of humanity that makes sense of the phrase I need a vacation from my vacation. I think this was our longest trip there yet. In the past we’ve only done about 4 days in “the World”. It never seemed long enough and it wasn’t as if we were wanting to see everything. Even at a week, we still had a lot that we missed simply because there is just so much – the world is so vast – there are just so many people – it was just so dang hot  and well, we couldn’t move that fast. I will freely admit that I am weary. It’s tough to be away from the comforts of home. 7 days on a slab of concrete that Disney passes off as a bed can do most anyone in. I slept but my body did so under protest. Usually I get some good rest when I go to these places because I wear myself out to the point that exhaustion renders me unconscious. But this time, I am sad to report that although I managed to get a few winks, the rest was far from restful. And I am paying for it today. *Ouch!*

Disney World is the Mecca for the Disney enthusiast. Many would call me one but I would have to say that I am more of a purist. There is just something about Disneyland in California that holds a place in my heart. Disneyland is smaller. It’s more intimate. If your kid pees her pants when she gets off a ride 15 minutes after getting into the park, it doesn’t take you half a day to take her back to the hotel and get her changed. There’s something simpler about Disneyland that makes it more special to me. Disney World is certainly a great place to visit but Disneyland is home. That being said, however, I’ll recap my trip to Disney World a bit.

First…even Disneyland doesn’t have a handle on the types of humanity that you encounter at Disney World. Amongst us at the value resort we were staying at were the “have nots” who clearly had enough to pay for their journey to the Mouse House. Even in “value” accommodations, things were pricey but that didn’t prevent your average slummer from pirating in their mugs from their 1997 trip so they could get some free soda. On the surface, I can kinda understand why they do this but really, can you get any more blatantly dishonest than that? Sheesh. My idea of playing the system was being creative with my snack and meal points. There were ways to feed yourself to make your points last all the way up to the moment you left the resort. In fact when we left, there were still 2 points in our account. I was just too tired to care. This was my 4th trip to Florida. I have stayed at the value resort each time and I think that this may be my last time I do so. The over crowding of the resort even during the “off season” such as this supposedly is, was a turn off to me. To have to go to the dining hall before 7 am when the parks don’t open until 9 just so you could find an empty table just seemed to absurd to me. I think my next trip it will be worth paying a bit more for some moderate accommodations – at least ones with more busses, less distance to walk to them and certainly less people. 

On the flip side, Michaela and I got a taste of where the “other half” stay when we visited the Grand Floridian resort for dinner on our last night there. The place was posh. It was luxurious. The resort was absolutely beautiful and QUIET. Lots more older folks were there. Many of the guests were couples. There were children but I wouldn’t say there were a lot. Even the noise from their pool was at a low hum when compared to the roar that came from the pool at our resort. Still…I am not sure I would ever pay the amount of money that one has to put up to stay there. You may get a nice room and quiet grounds but you still have to make your way out into the crowds at the parks where nobody can tell which resort you’ve come from. And when you’re there, it’s every man, woman and child for himself. Here you get a wide eyed view of just how many people don’t have manners, can’t flush a toilet and are willing to leave their empty water bottles laying amongst the atmosphere of the ride queues. Don’t those people know that Mickey loves them? 

So, did I have a good time? Yes. Would I go back? Yes. Was it money well spent? Of course. I got 7 uninterrupted days with my daughter. Yes, there were times when I thought that it was difficult to do this trip alone. Michaela and I had a brief moment of time about the middle of our trip when we realized just how much we wished that Daddy was there. It was tough to see the families all there – the dads struggling to fold the strollers and walking around the park with their little girls on their shoulders – the moms trying to keep the kids quiet – seeing “families” get chosen to open the park when our little family, as incomplete as it was, was just a family visiting the park, too and trying to have a good vacation. Mike was sorely missed. It was really hard to be all things for Michaela. I had to document each moment. Listen to each story. Ride each ride and be apart of each and every one of her whims and although I feel truly blessed to be given these moments, it’s hard to not think that Mike should be here too sharing them with me or giving me a moment to step back and watch when she’s experiencing these things with one her parents. *sigh* But I digress…This could easily turn into one of those whoa is me posts, so I will end it there by saying that yep, there were moments that had me reflective and yearning for my husband. I wish he could have been there.

So, what were the highlights? Well, Michaela met LOTS of characters, many of whom she had never met before such as Peter Pan, Pinnochio, Lady Tremain and the evil step-sisters. She also saw the elusive Donald Duck (who is curiously missing from Disneyland most times we go), Daisy Duck, Buzz Lightyear and Woody. Michaela also had her big makeover at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique at the castle and was dressed to the nines in her super-fancy Cinderella dress. It was cool and freaky at the same time to have so many people watch as she walked through the park. Her dress was no ordinary dress. It was much fancier than the ones sold in the park and she loved the attention. 

After the makeover and some quick photos in front of the castle, Michaela and I had dinner with Cinderella, Prince Charming, Lady Tremain and the step-sisters at the Grand Floridian. It was a great dinner that was capped off by a sunset cruise across the lagoon back to the Magic Kingdom. Michaela said the boat ride was more “princessy” than traveling by Monorail even though that would have been much faster. 

Other highlights were rides on the roller coasters. Michaela’s new favorite ride is the Aerosmith Rockin’ Roller Coaster that goes upside side down not 1 – not 2 but THREE times. She will brag about that to any one who will listen. She will also declare that this trip she finally kept her eyes open on the Mt. Everest ride and she got on that one twice. Big kid!  Michaela was also the envy of every little girl on the Tea Cup ride because when we asked Alice to ride with us, she said YES!! So we got a great photo opportunity there with one of the characters and that made Michaela feel extra special. I’d post all the pix but I took over 700 of them. Yeah…SEVEN HUNDRED! And that doesn’t count the 150 that we took with Disney’s Photopass. HA!

It’s t-minus 13 hours until we’re in the air heading to Florida. To say we’re excited is an understatement. I think I’ve been packed for the past 5 days. Silly, I know! Today started with the final preparations for the trip. I found out that the portable DVD player that I had purchased 9 months ago is basically a piece of crap. The battery doesn’t hold a charge rendering it useless for our trip. Since we’ll be on a plane all day, the best way to pass the time is to watch movies. So I went on a quest today to find a new DVD player. I had seen one at Wal Mart a couple days ago that I wanted to look at again. I got there and compared it to the Sony that comes highly rated. I decided that this one (a Magnavox) would do the job nicely and it was about $50 cheaper. But WalMart being WalMart, it wasn’t going to be easy. I quickly noticed that the display model was not the model they had in the case. I pointed this out to the associate working the electronics department and instead of telling me that they had made a mistake it was basically my own tough luck. I was NOT going to get the same model as what was on display or advertised. Grrr! So I basically told them to stick it and thought that if I was going to buy a Sony, I wasn’t going to buy it from them. So off to Best Buy… Big mistake. I found a pitiful supply of players there. Most of them were their crappy Insignia brand that looked like they were constructed with Legos. But if they had been, they would have been cool but they weren’t. They really they had only one name brand – a Toshiba – in stock. I stared at it for a while and pushed a lot of buttons. The screen looked ok. It was bigger than I had anticipated buying (9″) which was its only plus. Being how I was not loaded up with lots of time on my hands, I decided to buy the thing despite that it cost as much as the Sony as I had originally wanted but they didn’t have.I hurried home with my purchase and plugged it in. I put in When Harry Met Sally to test it out and saw that the picture looked good. The speakers kinda sucked but that didn’t matter because I rarely used them anyway. I plugged in my Bose headphones and was immediately met with the most annoying, loud and obnoxious buzzing in my right ear. Nothing I did to the plug made the buzzing go away and I knew right then that my sojourn to find a DVD player was going to take a bit longer. For good measure I plugged in another set of headphones and got the same buzzing. So I packed it all up and went back to Best Buy. I was not happy , especially when the Best Buy guy at the door greeted me with “Hi, how are you today?” Um…not good, bonehead. I was just here a half hour ago and yeah, well…”OH! You were just here,” he exclaimed. Brilliance. The guy who sold the player to me called out,”You’re back already?” Yeah, dude. This player is a total piece of CRAP! So, I got my money back and then tore off down the road to Target. The whole way there I was thinking what would I do if they had total crap too? Where would my journey take me then? Office Depot? Staples? A different WalMart?I ventured into Target and found that they, too were bogged down with total crap players including my lovely piece of hunk of junk that I purchased from them 9 months ago. My hopes were not too high but there before me were two Sonys… a black one and a pink one. Well, considering that my 6 year old would be using this most often, it just had to be pink. So I bought it. I took it home. I plugged it in. The picture was pretty. The sound superb. And my daughter was of course tickled pink to see this brand new PINK DVD player. Score one for Mommy! Mission accomplished. All is now packed. The minutes are slowly and tediously ticking away. I know the next week will fly by but these final hours before lift off are just dragging!Some final thoughts before I go… I will not comment on this week’s American Idol for obvious reasons. This makes me sad because this week should prove fruitful with the critiques given that we have the gay guy with the stupid looking headbands and weird nose piercing, that funky Von Smith with the huge assed mouth who shouldn’t be in the top 36, the Puerto Rican dude who is slightly frightening but not a half bad singer and the blind guy who was forced to dance in that stupid montage last Thursday. Who was the schmuck who made that dude dance? Seriously. He was flopping all over the place and his cane pratically tripped him. It wasn’t a nice thing. Seriously. I could have some fun this week talking about the trainwreck that will happen. But I digress… All I can leave you with is this little tidbit…An Idol season wouldn’t be complete without scandal. The latest are photos of Idol favorite (not mine) Adam Lambert playing tongue hockey with some other GUY. I know. That’s gross to see between heterosexuals, who needs to see that between two guys? I certainly don’t. But Vote for the Worst has them up for all the world to see and are claiming that Lambert has lots more where these came from. So, I must wonder… will he be held to the same standard as some girls who have had questionable photographs surface (remember Frenchie Davis)? Or will Idol let this slide? I am guessing they will ignore this. They probably won’t touch this with a ten foot pole because if they do, they’ll have the whole gay community out there crying foul. Which on one hand, I can see their point but on the other it would totally tick me off! Because they scream for equality but if they are held to the same standard then it’s like everyone is homophobic. GRRR!!!! So, chew on this for a while and decide for yourself. I guess America will get to vote on whether Adam Lambert deserves his shot at the Idol crown. I say put him on the first bus outta town and ship him to the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

On Tuesday, Michaela and I will wake up super early to catch a flight to Florida. It’s weird planning these trips because you want to get as much time as you can in at the parks as possible. When you request a quote from Disney for a package, they consider your first day to be the day you arrive. Well, it takes ALL DAY to get there from here. There just is no fast way. So, that travel day is pretty much wasted. It makes planning your flights tricky. When we get there, it will be about 3:30 in Orlando. And that is just landing at the airport. Nevermind that we have to take the usual trip to the bathroom, then trudge to the shuttle buses and then wait for our turn to board the bus and hit the road to Disney World. I figure that will add at least an hour longer until we are on resort property. So, we won’t even be getting there until nearly dinner time and that leaves virtually no time to visit any of the parks – at least to make a full days worth of your park hopper ticket worth while. I’ve decided that our first night will be spent checking things out.It’s my fourth trip to Disney World. It’s Michaela’s second and it’s our first doing it just the two of us. We’re staying at a different resort this time. I know the memories from our last trip there will be pretty plentiful. It was our last family vacation that we took with Mike and so I figured a change in venue would be good. Although the change really isn’t that different. It’s still a value resort and let’s get real, the value resorts there are all pretty much the same. Still, I don’t anticipate any problems with getting all emotional about things while we’re there. I never experienced that at all with Disneyland and we went there with Mike A LOT. If anything, I am sure we’ll have fun remembering our silly times with him there. I’m looking forward to it. Anyway, the first night will be our exploration. I think we’ll take in the stores at Downtown Disney and get a good dinner. If the weather is nice, maybe we’ll go swimming. I’ve been prepping my scary white legs with self-tanner lotion for the past 5 days so I shouldn’t be too scary. Or shall I say, my skin shouldn’t be too scary – me in a bathing suit? That is quite the different story!!This trip will be filled with more adventure. Michaela is pretty much tall enough now for most all of the rides there. She’s really come into her own as a roller coaster dare devil so it should be fun. She’s still a princess though… It wouldn’t be trip to Disney World unless we stopped by the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique for a make over. I splurged and got her a new Cinderella dress for the occasion. It’s probably her fanciest costume yet. She’s pretty excited. After her make over we’ll jet on over to have dinner at the Grand Floridian. Word is that Cinderella and the Prince may be there when we are so I am hoping for some great picture taking opportunities! So, we’re excited. The day can’t get here fast enough. There is only so much prep work you can do and it’s too early to pack although I am tempted!! But I know better. If I dig out the suitcases now, it will only serve to freak out and traumatize my dogs who know that when I start putting things into a suitcase, it’s only a matter of time before I leave. They don’t like that very much.