My Name is Kris and I Blah-g

It’s been a while (again!) since my last post. I just don’t have as much free time these days. I try and smoosh any little time I have into moments like these – very early morning before the sun even thinks of coming up and before I need to get Michaela out of bed so we can start our day. Tomorrow is Halloween. I’d like to say we were excited about it but with how crazy things have been it’s kind of been pushed to the back of our minds. I forget how close its gotten. Luckily this year’s costume is an easy one – princess…I know…SHOCKER! But this costume Michaela picked out herself and purchased with her free Disney gift card she received when we went to Disneyland on her birthday. Pictures will be posted this weekend…Other prep work includes our graveyard in the the front yard. It was snowed on this week so we have to unbury the skeleton and light up the green spot lights. I haven’t used them all month mainly because they get really hot and I don’t want to cause a fire! But I think I will turn them on starting tonight to see if we can burn off some of that snow! We’ll have the smoke machine again this year and for the first time we’ll use our front window to project a movie. We’ll see how that turns out. I mainly do this for our own enjoyment. We don’t get many trick or treaters which is probably a good thing. Michaela is into it though. Her cousins are for the 2nd year in a row doing a “tunnel of doom” and it’s turned her thoughts to what we could do to make our own tunnel of doom. What she doesn’t realize though is that if we did that, we’d have to stay home to work the tunnel…that means no trick or treating. So, I think we’ll hold off another couple of years. Although, she’s got some really wicked ideas. It was fun putting the graveyard up because every time we placed a tombstone or she’d stick a bone in the ground she’d let out a “Whoa-HAHAHAHA!” It was hilarious to hear her scary laugh and I have to admit that I was pleased that she’s as demented as I am and her father was. So, we’ll see how it goes! I imagine that it won’t be long before we hang back at home and create our own version of Disney’s Haunted Mansion. She even told me last night that we should contact Disney and ask to borrow their crystal ball with the scary lady inside. Yeah, like they’ll just GIVE me Madam Leotta! HA HA. Silly girl!!

Fall is now upon us. We have been enjoying some Indian Summer weather up until this weekend when the skies turned to grey and the air turned cold. It’s not snowing yet but I think it won’t be long now. Usually I am excited about the change in the weather. By this time of year I am so ready for the tapestry of color, the smell of pumpkin and spice, the onslaught of Christmas advertising. But I admit I am meeting this year’s changes with not much excitement. I know I am entitled to feel a little melancholy about this bittersweet time of year. But I wish I could be happy about it more. I suppose that in years to come that will return.We’re close to leaving on our Halloween trip to Disneyland next week. I am really looking forward to this trip. Disney is something we have always enjoyed and I worried that when Mike died I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it like I did before. After all, Disneyland is one of the first places I took Mike when we first met. Disney World is where we honeymooned and it is where we had our last family vacation. I am happy to report that my feelings for the Happiest Place on Earth haven’t changed. I enter the gates of the Magic Kingdom with as much excitement and enthusiasm as I always have. Our memories there are happy. And I can look at Michaela enjoying herself and remember the times when her Dad was having fun there too.My next favorite thing is Christmas. Last Christmas, to be honest, wasn’t that great. We were dealing with a lot then and only 10 days later Mike was gone. I wouldn’t say I am dreading the holidays but look at them with cautious optimism that when we put up the lights and enjoy the splendor, I won’t be reminded about how hard it was a year ago but how many Christmases that were good. And we had some doozies…I was proposed to on Christmas day 12 years ago. And 7 years ago, on Christmas, we found out that I was pregnant with Michaela. How can I not smile with memories like those?So, yeah…this time of year is bittersweet. It is sad that Mike will not be here to share in the joy of the season with us. I miss him. It really sucks. But then I have those wonderful times to tell Michaela about. And that brings me a smile.